Really low energy today. Combo of dehydration, stress about not getting the feature working for Ceres Tag, and maybe some love life artifacts.

I told Nikki Basnet I wanted to date her a few days ago. Got the “you’re sweet” rejection which is a bummer. That might be undermining my confidence.

Dad messaged today which threatened to slightly blow up my weekend plans next weekend (Bday weekend). He asked if I was free on Friday to go to a stranger’s (to me) celebration lunch; and also to stay for three days.

The lunch invite annoyed me, because then I have to be the bad guy saying no, but honestly Ben is a stranger to me. I’m not taking half a day off work OR recreation to go and do that. I hate being rent a crowd, and it makes me feel like my time is worth less.

The staying thing is awkward too. I am going to the Gold Coast on Saturday for Kat and my Bdays, and may have stayed the night, but prob not. Then Sunday morning is ok, but am I going to feel like I’m ignoring him, while I go off to see friend’s and go out on Sunday evening? It’s like I’m going off to party to celebrate my birthday, and either he’s not invited (sitting at home by himself while I party); or I bring him and he’s the only person from the parent generation and it feels like it’s being chaperoned again?

So now on my Bday which I really want to enjoy I feel like I have no good choices. Should I just invite him? What the fuck else is he doing on Sunday if not hanging out with me?
Now I feel like a cunt for being ungrateful and leaving him, but I had no knowledge he was coming, so I organize friends and now…